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Gerard Piqué, Enigmatic Vaguetweeter Extraordinaire

According to UrbanDictionary, the only reliable way to find definitions to words you make up, "vaguetweeting" is "an emo/ranty/snarky/'blind' tweet that does not mention a specific person or event, [and does] nothing more than garner attention because people can't help but be paranoid and wonder if it refers to them. Similar to vaguebooking."

It was only a matter of time before major athletes started jumping on this Facebook-inspired trend; and now, we have our first Spanish connoisseur. Gerard Piqué, star center back for FC Barcelona, tweeted this today:

Some context (if you really want it) after the jump.

OK, so this Tweet didn't completely come out of the blue. A couple days ago, Piqué held a press conference after Barcelona's victory over Sporting Gijón in the Camp Nou to discuss refereeing--the Catalan defender was ejected from the match after taking down one of Sporting's strikers in front of goal. During the press conference, Piqué stated that the decision to give him a red card was "premeditated," a very insulting thing to insinuate about a professional referee (basically, that this guy had some vendetta against him and/or Barcelona generally).

Well, as you might imagine, the Spanish referee federation doesn't take kindly to players that insinuate that they are throwing matches. So they decided to punish Piqué in court--the court of the Spanish soccer federation's disciplinary something or other. The "court" decided to suspend Piqué for one match and fine him a whopping €600 (hope he learned his lesson).

Now fast forward to today. Piqué is probably sitting at home, depressed that he won't get to play in Barcelona's match against Racing Santander. He grabs his phone to text one of his buddies about the match. Suddenly, he's overcome with a wave of depression. He decided he needs to cry out for help. But how? How can a star footballer cry out for attention and help? And then suddenly it dawns on him. "..." he types.

If you're interested, here are some of the responses: