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VIDEO: David Beckham, Still Shooter Extraordinaire

David Beckham is older and surlier, but when he gets time to hit a ball he still looks like the young David Beckham. Well, the young, pirate-esque David Beckham.

Fresh off of missing two matches through suspension, Beckham showed up in Portland and after watching the Timbers go ahead with a second minute guys, scored two brilliant goals to give the LA Galaxy the lead. Like super brilliant. The kind of brilliant that will find their place in the Beckham career highlight reel.

Warning: watching these videos could impregnate you.

See, because he's far. And then he hits it and it, um. Wow.

And see, there he did the ... the ball went to ... it did ... yeah. That was awesome.