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Zlatan Ibrahimovic asks Jurgen Klopp "when are you bringing me to Dortmund?"

All hail Dortmund Zlatan.

Everyone wants Zlatan. Just ask Zlatan.

That includes Borussia Dortmund, who Zlatan has decided want him so he asked Jurgen Klopp when Dortmund will buy him.

And because Zlatan said Dortmund want him, Dortmund want him. Specifically, Dortmund want him for free.

Reasons Zlatan should go to Dortmund:

  1. Zlatan and Klopp hugs make rainbows, puppies and bacon.
  2. Only the Dortmund supporters make tifos big enough to properly capture the magic of Zlatan.
  3. Zlatan might try on Klopp's glasses one day and it would be the best thing ever.
  4. We all should get the chance to watch Zlatan play with Marco Reus and Ilkay Gundogan.
  5. It's easier for me to watch the Bundesliga than Ligue 1.

Reasons Zlatan should not go to Dortmund:

  1. He lives in Paris.

Crap, Zlatan isn't going to Dortmund.