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Mexico players banned from eating beef tacos

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No tacos, no glory.

Kevin C. Cox

Mexico banned alcohol. Heathens.

Mexico banned sex. What?

Mexico banned tacos. OH HELL NO.

Because Mexican beef is sometimes tainted with clenbuterol, a drug banned by FIFA that some Mexico players tested positive for at the 2011 Gold Cup, Miguel Herrera has told players they cannot have beef until after the World Cup. That means no beef tacos.

That is except for Miguel Ponce, who wasn't on the original Mexico roster, but was added after Juan Carlos Medina was injured.

"Ponce ate some tacos without knowing he would be with us," Herrera said, before presumably smiting Ponce.

Mexico players can still eat chicken, lengua or carnitas so not all tacos are off the board, but if you can't have carne asada, what's the point?

If there is a god, Mexico will be quickly eliminated and sent back home where Herrera is tied down to a chair and forced to watch all 23 players eat tacos in front of him.