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Jose Mourinho is still the manager of Chelsea. Mostly because he's probably still a very good manager, but partially because it would cost well into the eight figures to get rid of him, and Chelsea would like to save up that money to buy a true global superstar. Someone inside Chelsea's locker room doesn't care, because they're leaking stories that the senior players think he's acting a fool and are preparing for his exit.
In their defense, being obsessed with Arsene Wenger and shouting him out to insult refs is really weird.
Bad piece of defending of the weekend
In the news
Real Madrid are still the same club they've been for their entire history, according to report. (El Pais)
A FIFA presidential candidate has been forced to deny that he tortured players. (BBC)
The UK's Serious Fraud Office is looking into money laundering offenses related to FIFA corruption. (Guardian)
Daniel Sturridge still has a knee injury. (ESPN FC)
Max Allegri is really sick of hearing about Paulo Dybala's price tag and national team status. (Football Italia)
Just going to give you the verbatim headline on this one: "Dynamo Kiev consider segregating black fans to prevent racism inside stadium." (Telegraph)
The Philadelphia Union hired an extremely qualified sporting director, so start building that fallout shelter. (SI)
You should be reading
Mike Goodman handicaps the race for fourth place in England. (Grantland)
Tom Worville has some really good analysis of why Crystal Palace are good. (Spielverlagerung)
Billy Haisley on Gerard Deulofeu, who is super fun. (Deadspin's Screamer)
What to watch on Tuesday
DFB-Pokal; Eight games (from 2 p.m. ET) - Bayern vs. Wolfsburg is the clear pick of the bunch.
League Cup: Four games (3:45 p.m. ET) - Stoke vs. Chelsea is the American TV game.
Serie A: Bologna vs. Inter (3:45 p.m. ET) - Inter are actually good this year and I'm scared.