The combination of poor Bayer Munich passing, a tough defensive performance from Shakhtar Donetsk, and a second-half red card to Xabi Alonso conspired to create a dreadfully dull scoreless first leg draw on Tuesday. The two sides will take a week off before meeting up in Germany for the second leg of their Champions League Round of 16 tie.
All you really need to know about the first half in the Ukraine is that not much happened.
SPOILER: The second half was basically the same.
Shakhtar pretty consistently kept nine men behind the ball, allowing Bayern to have an obscene amount of possession. It's always a risky proposition to allow a team with the attacking talent of Bayern to sit with the ball and try to pick you apart, but opening yourself up against them is dangerous as well.
The tight defense from Shakhtar kept the match scoreless at the break, and limited both scoring chances and entertainment value.
Xabi Alonso was sent off in the 65th minute after picking up his second yellow card of the match for bringing down Alex Teixeira from behind. It was not the performance the Spaniard was likely hoping for in his 100th Champions League appearance.
The man advantage didn't really help Shakhtar as their attack remained absent over the final 30 minutes of play. Bayern had a couple moments where you thought they might steal a goal, but the Ukrainian's defense stood firm.
Bayern Munich: Neuer, Rafinha, Boateng, Alaba, Alonso (red card 65'), Ribery, Bernat, Schweinsteiger, Robben, Müller (Badstuber 70'), Götze (Lewandowski 75')
Shakhtar Donetsk: Pyatov, Srna, Kucher, Rakitskiy, Shevchuk, Fred, Fernando, Costa (Marlos 78'), Teixeira, Taison (Niem 84'), Adriano (Gladkiy 89')
3 things (you could've done rather than watching this dreadful match)
1. Watched PSG vs. Chelsea. That match way better. THEY EVEN SCORED GOALS.
2. Watched Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat's legendary trilogy of matches from 1989. The 60-minute 2 out of 3 falls match at Clash of Champions VI would've been far better than watching the first half and the commercials during the break. The Chi-Town Rumble and WrestleWar matches would run a bit longer than the second half, but it's totally worth watching all three.
3. Go outside (weather permitting). If it wasn't too cold, or the ground wasn't covered in snow, you totally could've taken a walk. Fresh air is great, and a little sunshine is important for your body's ability to produce vitamin D.