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Gonzalo Jara has been suspended for the rest of Copa America for sticking his finger up Edinson Cavani's butt, then diving when the Uruguay striker came nowhere near hitting him. That's what we can see on video, but what we apparently can't see is Jara taunting Cavani over his dad's legal issues. Cavani's father was involved in a fatal car accident the day before the game, and Uruguay assistant coach Mario Rebollo says Jara taunted him over it.
"Not only did Jara touch Cavani as we saw in the pictures, but he also said something about what had happened the previous day. He said that Cavani's father was going to get 20 years [in prison]."
What a nice guy.
In the news
Once again, FIFA has needed to remind Sepp Blatter to go away. (BBC)
Here's the ugly-ass ball you'll see in England, Spain and Italy this season. (AS)
Catania: "We fixed games but it was NBD." (Football Italia)
Ron Vlaar is spending his summer working with underprivileged kids in India. (Mirror)
You should be reading
Katie Baker on Julie Johnston's relationship with her boyfriend, Zach Ertz. (Grantland)
Meg Linehan on why the USWNT needs NWSL. (Vice)
Jennifer Doyle on sexism being a form of corruption in women's sports. (Sport Spectacle)
Fun with transfer rumors
The section in which nothing should be taken seriously. It's rumor season, so this section will be expanded, and as the summer rolls on, it will probably be bigger than the actual news section.
Arsenal might be signing Arturo Vidal. (Telegraph)
And Juventus boss Max Allegri admitted he'd like to sign Oscar. (Standard)
Carlos Bacca is probably going to AC Milan. (ESPN FC)
So is Andrea Bertolacci, because Milan have unlimited money now. (Football Italia)
Since Manchester United had their bid rejected, City are bidding for Sergio Ramos. (AS)
Spurs are willing to offload Erik Lamela. (Mirror)
Liverpool have upped their bid for Asier Illaramendi. (Star)
This weekend's games
The USWNT are through to the Women's World Cup semifinals.
They'll face Germany, because France just can't win the big one.
Japan beat Australia, who we'll miss dearly.
Canada got bounced by England, who capitalized on their mistakes.
Argentina are through despite not scoring against Colombia. Don't blame Lionel Messi for their struggles.
Brazil are out after losing to Paraguay on penalties again.
Check out highlights of all of this weekend's MLS games, including Portland's thrashing of Seattle. (MLS)
What to watch on Monday (click for listings, all times ET)
Copa America: Chile vs. Peru (7:30 p.m.) - The hosts are the favorites, but Peru are having an impressive tournament.