Meet Ramona Bachmann, the dazzling World Cup superstar who doesn't help her team

Ramona Bachmann is the evolved Pokemon form of Marta. She's Lionel Messi's long lost sister. She's Diego Maradona in the 1986 World Cup. She is everything the women's game has ever needed.

She got eaten by the turf monster.

The Ramona Bachmann show, her 2nd wonderful highlight, shame neither has been a goal. Amazing dribble #sui #FIFAWWC pic.twitter.com/mHJL9rbhLp

— Andrew Jerell Jones (@sluggahjells) June 9, 2015

But she's here to redeem herself. It's the 93rd minute, the ball falls to her feet. This is her moment. Bachmann is going to score in the 93rd minute to steal a point from the defending World Cup champions.

She got it all wrong.

Ooooh #Bachmann missed the CLEAR equalizer for #SUI against #JAP #WWC2015 #WomensWorldCup pic.twitter.com/oRv1UolrX4

— Adan El Mago (@AdumQ) June 9, 2015

Bachmann had an endless array of highlights and lowlights throughout Switzerland's 1-0 loss to Japan, a game where she demanded the ball repeatedly and beat top class opponents with ease, but never produced anything of actual substance. There were times when she had an opportunity to play an easy pass that would have advanced the Swiss attack, but instead decided to run into a sea of defenders because she felt she could beat them. And on many occasions, she'd skin the first three before the fourth -- usually the impeccable Saki Kumagai -- managed to get a toe on the ball and halt her rampage.

This was by far the most entertaining individual display that anyone has produced so far at the World Cup, but at the end of the day ...

xG map for #JPN-#SUI. Best part of the game were Bachmann chances that didn't lead to shots. But overall even match. pic.twitter.com/RSQ2fiAUUh

— Michael Caley (@MC_of_A) June 9, 2015

... you have to manufacture some shots. Bachmann single-handedly created about 12 dangerous attacks and single-handedly destroyed roughly 10 of them.

And yet, it was the most amazing thing that we've had the chance to watch in the last three days. Somehow, the best thing about the Women's World Cup so far is an individual performance by a player who did almost nothing to increase her team's chances of winning. Ramona Bachmann, you are weird as hell.

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