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Vincent Kompany hopes Eden Hazard gets diarrhea

Fair, he only misses one game then.

Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

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Chelsea play Manchester City this weekend, and Vincent Kompany really does not want to see his opponent's best player on the pitch at all.

"You'd almost hope that Eden Hazard would have diarrhea," Kompany said jokingly, before getting into a very good point about how good Hazard is right now. Emphasis added:

"Now let's be serious. You can't underestimate the impact he has on Chelsea. And then you'll expect he would have a dip in his performance level. Last week against Swansea, he maybe didn't play his best first half, but when they were reduced to 10, he was the only one who was dangerous. Because he ran past three-four defenders. You can have as many tactical plans as you want, if Eden starts running, it is chaos. He's at a level where he decides how good his team are."

He might not be Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo, but Hazard is probably the best player in the Premier League by some distance. And we get to see him against City early in the season. Thank you, schedule gods.

In the news

Aston Villa have signed Adama Traore from Barcelona. (Aston Villa)

David Villa and Andrea Pirlo are old, but they can still do this. (r/soccer)

Louis van Gaal is the worst negotiator ever, giving Real Madrid tons of leverage. (Guardian)

Pep Guardiola says Messi is the only player who doesn't have to listen to him. (AS)

Jose Mourinho clarified DoctorGate on Friday. (BBC)

You should be reading

Andrew Flint on the greatness of Duncan Edwards. (These Football Times)

Michael Cox on La Liga imports fading late in their first Premier League season. (Paste)

Rafa Honigstein on the embarrassing tire fire that is HSV. (Guardian)

Fun with transfer rumors

The section in which nothing should be taken seriously.

AC Milan are gunning for Axel Witsel. (Football Italia)

Rafa Benitez wants William Carvalho. (AS)

Mario Balotelli is refusing to go out on loan. (Mirror)

But Lucas could leave Liverpool for Juventus. (Express)

Roberto Soldado looks set for Villarreal. (Guardian)

Everton want Alexander Buttner to replace the injured Leighton Baines. (Mail)

Thursday night's games

You can watch highlights of NYCFC's win over DC here. (MLS)

What to watch this weekend (click for listings, all times ET)

Bundesliga: Bayern vs. HSV (Friday, 2:30 p.m.) - The season kicks off with a possible slaughtering.

EPL: Aston Villa vs. Manchester United (Friday, 2:45 p.m.) - Tactics Tim might embarrass United into getting more aggressive in the transfer market.

Supercopa: Athletic vs. Barcelona (Friday, 4 p.m.) - The first of two legs as Barca guns for trophy No. 2 of six.

Bundesliga: Dortmund vs. Gladbach (Saturday, 12:30 p.m.) - The best game of the weekend in Germany by far.

EPL: Palace vs. Arsenal (Sunday, 8:30 a.m.) - Arsenal could suffer a second straight upset here.

EPL: City vs. Chelsea (Sunday, 11 a.m.) - About as early a title race clash as we ever get. Enjoy it.

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