Let's laugh at Newcastle for thinking they could sign Bastian Schweinsteiger in his prime

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Can you imagine Bastian Schweinsteiger playing for Newcastle? Apparently the Newcastle board could. The Birmingham Mail has the incredible story of the Toon's extremely delusional 2008 summer transfer window. Former Newcastle coach Terry McDermott says that him and then-manager Kevin Keegan were convinced that they should sanction the sale of James Milner because they could get a better player -- Schweinsteiger -- to replace him.

When Newcastle actually phoned up Bayern to ask about buying Schweinsteiger, though, they were in for a shock.

"Kevin [Keegan] said 'if we sell him for 15 million quid, how are we going to replace him? They said 'we've already got one -- Schweinsteiger'. He's at Man United now but seven or eight years ago he was a superstar and they said we could get him. The idea of accepting the bid of £15 million for Milner, which was a lot of money then, and then we're looking to get Schweinsteiger it's a no brainer. But after he's signed for Villa -- the day after -- we're trying to sign Schweinsteiger and the answer was 'absolutely no chance, it will cost you £50 million if you wanted to buy Schweinsteiger'. So we had no one to replace him. But he was irreplaceable anyway because he could play anywhere."

And that's how Newcastle came to sell James Milner without lining up a replacement, helping lead to their relegation that season.

Goal of the day

Gabriel Jesus to Neymar to Gabriel Jesus. (r/soccer)

In the news

The latest USWNT squad features 11 uncapped players and a lot of veterans rested. (Stars and Stripes FC)

Star striker Mauro Icardi has renewed his contract with Inter. (Football Italia)

Graziano Pelle has been sent home for refusing to shake Italy manager Gianpiero Ventura's hand. What a bunch of babies. (FIGC)

Jordi Alba picked up an injury on Thursday, so Nacho Monreal has replaced him in the Spain squad. (Sefutbol)

Phil Jagielka is out for England, with no replacement announced. (BBC)

China's fans are calling for the head of their FA to resign. (Guardian)

The Neymar transfer fraud case will never end. (AS)

In current Neymar news, he's suspended for Brazil vs. Venezuela, so he's going back to Barcelona early. (Sport)

Riccardo Montolivo has a torn ACL and is out six months. (Gazzetta)

Arsenal right back Hector Bellerin has picked up an ankle injury. (Mirror)

You should be reading

Joel Rabinowitz on a year of Jürgen Klopp at Liverpool. (Just Football)

Alex Hess on the unfortunate way that Yaya Toure's legendary career is winding down. (Vice)

Luis Miguel Echegaray on freestyle icon Indi Cowie. (Guardian)

What to watch on Friday (click for listings, all times ET)

World Cup qualifying -- Once again, there are games all over the world. We recommend Belgium vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina at 2:45 p.m.

Friendly: Cuba vs. USA (4 p.m.) -- It's the first time the USMNT has played in Cuba since the embargo was lifted, so the atmosphere should be very cool. Expect to see a lot of Americans in the stands.