Despite the Fire and Crew conspiring to not play any soccer, while NYCFC and Orlando City combined to put a dozen great scoring chances wide of the net, MLS had plenty of excitement to offer in Week 3. A lot of that came in the form of great direct free kicks, but there was plenty of comical open play defending as well. Also, the refs were bad. Really bad.
This weekend's scores
New York City FC 0-1 Orlando City
Chicago Fire 0-0 Columbus Crew SC
New York Red Bulls 4-3 Houston Dynamo
FC Dallas 2-0 Montreal Impact
Seattle Sounders FC 1-2 Vancouver Whitecaps
Portland Timbers 2-2 Real Salt Lake
LA Galaxy 3-1 San Jose Earthquakes
Philadelphia Union 3-0 New England Revolution
D.C. United 1-1 Colorado Rapids
Sporting Kansas City 1-0 Toronto FC
There were a bunch of really dope free kicks this week
A couple of the players you think of as dead-ball specialists -- Mauro Díaz and Felipe Martins -- scored awesome free kick goals this weekend. But there were also a couple more from your slightly less usual suspects, Andreas Ivanschitz and Joao Plata. Look at how good these are!
Think that Plata one looks like it's in an area that makes it savable? Wrong, it's the best one.
Free kick goals are the best. More free kick specialists in the league, please.
Some referees were really bad
Brian Dunseth and the Instant Replay staff have a lot of work to do this week. There were a lot of controversial refereeing decisions in Week 3, and two in particular are going to get the most attention.
The Vancouver Whitecaps got a penalty early in their match against the Seattle Sounders when Christian Bolaños very clearly tripped over his own feet, and the second penalty in their 2-1 win was a close call as well. In Sunday's late game, Sporting Kansas City beat Toronto FC 1-0 on a goal scored by Brad Davis after he threw down defender Justin Morrow, but wasn't called for a foul.
These decisions were wrong, and they directly affected the outcome of games. Mark Geiger and Baldomero Toledo -- two of the league's most experienced officials -- were the men who worked those two games, and they're going to get a serious talking to from PRO this week.
Defending is bad and dumb, but seven-goal games are good and cool
Shouts to New York Red Bulls and the Houston Dynamo, who played one of the worst defensive games in the history of MLS, and therefore one of the best games in the history of MLS.
All four members of the Red Bulls' back line looked like they were trying to let the Dynamo win on purpose ... and the Red Bulls went on to win the game.
Weekly MLS Live power rankings
This is not a ranking that has anything to do with how good a team is at soccer. It's simply about how likely you are to be entertained if you choose to watch their game on MLS Live. Congrats to the Fire and Crew, who played by far the worst game of the week and move way down.
1. RSL (up 1)
2. Dallas (up 2)
3. Dynamo (up 9)
4. NYCFC (down 3)
5. Impact (down 2)
6. Sporks (up 1)
7. Toronto (down 1)
8. Timbers (up 3)
9. Galaxy (down 1)
10. Orlando (down 5)
11. Union (up 5)
12. Red Bulls (up 5)
13. Whitecaps (unchanged)
14. Sounders (unchanged)
15. Quakes (unchanged)
16. Revs (up 3)
17. Crew (down 8)
18. Fire (down 8)
19. Rapids (down 1)
20. DC (unchanged)
Here is a list of way too early takes that are not worthy of an entire column. You should argue with me about them.
1. New York Red Bulls' comeback win was cool, but they're still bad.
2. Actually, MLS refs are mostly fine.
3. Sporting Kansas City is the only team with a perfect record and we haven't even seen the best of them yet.
4. Adding Jozy Altidore to the Toronto FC lineup makes them worse.
5. Yura Movsisyan will win the golden boot.
6. Sigi Schmid is really, definitely getting fired.
Here's a great photo from this week's games
Credit: William Hauser -- USA Today Sports
Have a good week, fam.