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Chris Jericho is in a hair vs. hair match, and we need him bald

SHAVE DOWN THE HAIR ... OF JERICHO!

We are on the precipice of something very special: Bald Chris Jericho. On Wednesday night the AEW star is putting his luscious locks on the line in a “hair vs. hair” match against Ortiz, culminating a feud between the two, and ensuring we’ll see at least one long-haired wrestler lose their hair before the end of the night.

One of the greatest things in wrestling is entering a match like this without any idea what’s going to happen. I could see either Jericho or Ortiz lose their hair, but there’s only one proper outcome — and it’s the one we’re all hoping for.

I’m not hoping this happens for some compelling wrestling reason. The build to this match has been good, and I think Jericho and Ortiz will have an awesome match — but I want this to happen for Chris Jericho. My man needs to be brave enough, willing, to say goodbye to an old friend.

Outside of Jericho’s infamously awful “frosted tips phase,” his long hair has been a defining characteristic for the better part of three decades, and it’s been glorious. From his cruiserweight WCW top ponytail, to the flowing locks of Y2J — every character reinvention had a new hair style, and it was pretty much always long. Now, at 51-years old, it’s looking a little rough. The hair is turning grey, it’s looking a little frayed from years of wrestling and rocking. What I’m trying to say is that Jericho is every good run needs to come to an end, and that needs to happen to his hair tonight.

I have not been blessed with Jericho’s follicle fortitude. Every year I’m taking stock of a slowly receding hairline. I hate it, but I’ve accepted it. There are haircuts I used to get which I now avoid. I make it a point to tell my barber to “leave a little more on the top” these days, because I get to hide the hairline this way. When it goes further I’ve resigned myself to just shaving it all, and hoping I don’t have a head underneath all this that looks like skin wrapped over a misshapen bowling ball. I need Chris to accept it too. I need him to be ready to lose the hair. The world needs bald Chris Jericho.

If the booking isn’t meant for this to happen. If the internal plan is to have Ortiz lose on Wednesday night and have his hair chopped off, well, I cannot abide. To the powers that be, Tony Khan, Chris Jericho — anyone else involved in this decision — give us bald Jericho.